I Love You Rituals

We try to include an “I Love You Ritual” in EVERY Little Learner’s Kindermusik class. These are the brain-child of Dr. Becky Bailey of Conscious Discipline.

Conscious Discipline is an evidence-based and trauma informed practice of social emotional learning. It utilizes every-day activities to teach adults and children emotional intelligence and self-regulation.

One of the basic tenets of Conscious Discipline is that connection must come before correction. Additionally, Conscious Discipline teaches that connection breeds cooperation.

CONNECTION is one of Song of the Heart Studio’s values, and you will find it up on our walls, we believe in it so much! It is one of the foundational pillars of all we do in our studio and try to promote in every class.

I Love You Rituals are simply a tool that develops that connection between you and your little one. In order for the ritual to work and truly develop and nurture connection you need certain elements:

  1. Presence
  2. Eye contact
  3. Safe, intentional touch
  4. Playfulness


Any short song or game can become an I Love You Ritual when used consistently, with these elements at play. We’ve been using “On your face you have a nose, and way down here you have 10 toes!” In past years we’ve used “Twinkle twinkle, little star, what a wonderful child you are!” You might be familiar with “This little piggy went to market” which could be used similarly.

When you engage in just 5 minutes of connected play with your child each day, you can decrease power struggles and increase cooperation by up to 50%! That is a HUGE return on investment.

This is partly achieved by how the ritual hacks your brain chemistry by promoting the natural production of what we call “Joy Juice”, a hormonal cocktail of serotonin, dopamine, and other feel-good hormones.

Enjoy this short video from Conscious Discipline and learn more about the power and purpose of this simple routine.